Light for the next step

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A few months ago when it was clear everything had fallen apart for our Rwanda adoption, I started pushing ahead to change course. I scheduled doctor’s appointments, I got the list of items we needed to update the home study, I started gearing up for what would come after, until the unsettled spirit in me whispered loud enough, stop.

It just didn’t feel right, even from the very first step, and I kept pushing past it so something would keep moving. I was afraid if I didn’t envision the entire road ahead of me, even if I couldn’t see it, that we would be lost in the darkness forever.

We decided we would wait until Benjamin’s next birthday, until our baby was two, and then see. Then, we would make a decision about when to move and where, whether our next adoption would start now or later or not at all.

This was the week, Benjamin is two now, and things are no clearer. I admit I was hoping for clarity, for certainty, though by now I should know better.

In a prayer I prayed for other adoptive families this morning, I found myself asking Jesus for what I wanted for them: Just a little light for the path. Just a little spotlight that would illuminate the next step is all.

I realize that I don’t need to know the entire road ahead, because it’s not in my power to make it straight anyway. All we need is direction for the very next step, just the next three feet so our foot can land where it needs to go. Though all else is darkness, though we’re groping in the dark, though the Light of the World isn’t shining bright on the path, we don’t need to know the path. We just need to know the Light, and with him, we can trust whatever the next step will bring.

That’s what I’m praying for these days. Just a little light, and just the next step, and I trust (most days) that the rest will come in its time.

 

Linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five Minute Friday, where participants write for five minutes flat, no rewriting, no editing. Join me there for more five-minute creations.

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6 comments on “Light for the next step

  1. Tracey says:

    “Just a little light for the path. Just a little spotlight that would illuminate the next step is all.”

    Yes! That’s all I need. Just a little light for my path.

    Thank you for sharing your precious words today.

    So glad I made my way over here from Five Minute Friday.

    Hope you have a wonderful day.

  2. Tanya Marlow says:

    This sounds like a tough path you’ve been walking recently. I know well that feeling of reaching out in the darkness, hoping for some light. But you’re right – it’s the knowing of the Light that’s the important thing. Praying that God will make your way clear.

    (also a Five-minute-Friday-er). Blessings. x

  3. Oh Kim… That’s tough… I pray with you this morning for God to shine a little bit of directional light your way!! Your post was touching and I know that there is a reason and a great plan behind all of this. Keep the faith my friend and pretty soon, there won’t just be a tiny little flashlight– but it will be stadium lights shining on your path. Blessings and so glad I stopped by from FMF!

  4. Sylvia R says:

    I groaned, “Oh-h-h,” when I read about your plans falling through, but your perspective is so right-on. I want to see the whole route, start to finish, too, but God NEVER seems to show me that. Just, like you said, one step at a time. May God bless you with His light as you follow His path for you.

  5. CaraC says:

    Tough path for u really… going thru some pretty tough times as well. Though sometimes it’s real hard to still believe this. But it’s still true: He is all good, no matter what happens, or how ridiculous things get. Said a prayer for you & family. Take care & take heart in God.

  6. Sheila Smith says:

    I’m a lightning bolt kind of girl, but yet so often i hear God in the small still whisper. My life verse lately is Trust in the Lord…and he will make your path straight. It’s so hard to “Be still” and know He is God. However, i’m still waiting for the lightning bolt.