{Honestly} Not my strength


You guys. I am getting some submissions for the {Honestly} adoption series, and honestly? You are going to LOVE them. I love them. These women (and one man, maybe!) are strong, intelligent and open, vulnerable and beautiful. They aren’t perfect. No adoptive parent is. But I think their thoughts are going to encourage you, help you think, and let you know you’re not alone.

I just have one more thing to say before we jump in.

I don’t intend to scare you.

Being honest and showing the ugly, broken and heartbreaking with the beautiful and redemptive can sometimes be taken the wrong way. You get reactions like, “wow, that seems hard. but hopefully it’s worth it?”

It is, of course, but not in the way you might think. Here’s the thing: I want to stop qualifying the hard stuff. I want to stop sticking a bow on the struggles, bringing them up briefly but quickly saying that in the end it’s going to be one of the biggest blessings of my life.

Because in the darkest moments, you can’t see how. And it’s not helpful to tie up the messy ends when you’re in the middle of it.

A friend told me that reading my more starkly honest posts scare her, then challenge her, then inspire her, then scare her again. “What if I’m not strong enough, what if I can’t do this?” she asked. “What if it’s too much for me?”

But here’s the beautiful truth: I’m NOT strong enough. I CAN’T do this on my own, and it IS too much for me. Adoption has brought me to the end of myself more times than every other experience in my life combined. It’s a gorgeous, painful, broken, beautiful thing. And I’ve never seen God more clearly. He is there, in the midst of it. He doesn’t always make it better or ease up on the challenges. Adoption has shown me that whatever the situation, I need to drop the illusion of being somehow able, strong, or capable. I’m woefully inadequate. That’s why I need Him.

We don’t have to be strong, because He is. We don’t have to be enough, because He is. We don’t have to be afraid, because He’s in it, and He’s with us.

This series of posts isn’t meant to scare anyone — quite the opposite. I want prospective adoptive parents, adoptive parents and those just interested or curious about adoption to see that others have gone before you. They’ve thought those thoughts and felt those same scary emotions. They’ve struggled in the dark and now they want to shine a light for others.

You are not alone.


linked up with Heather and Kristina.

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8 comments on “{Honestly} Not my strength

  1. debi9kids says:

    what a fantastic series. I look forward to reading it.

    You are SO right about adoption. There have been SO many ups and downs through the years, before, during and since our 5 adoptions… but the reward and the blessings from God have been abounding (for most and praying we get there with some eventually)

  2. I found your blog through Just Write. I’m new to your story, but it’s such a powerful one, it just enveloped me in, and I’ve been reading through several of your posts. Thank you for sharing your story and your poignant writing. I’ll be following along now and am looking forward to this series.

  3. Cheri says:

    An important series – I look forward to reading more!

  4. We don’t have to be strong, because He is. We don’t have to be enough, because He is. We don’t have to be afraid, because He’s in it, and He’s with us.

    wow. you don’t know how this encourages me tonight friend. thank you so much…