Tuesday, 4 May 2010
Awake – Five Minute Friday
Linking up with The Gypsy Mama. Rules: Write for five minutes, click publish. No editing. (It’s hard!)
Before we completed our first adoption, I was asleep.
I was dreaming of all the beauty and loveliness of giving an orphan a home and bringing a beautifully brown child into our little family. I had long daydreams about how our family would look, the chaos another member would bring. I dreamed of wholeness, unity, oneness, hope, love.
And then I woke up. My son was the one who shook me awake.
There I was, after some of my first steps into Uganda, holding a baby I didn’t know at all. And he certainly didn’t know me. During our first nights together, we were all literally awake as he screamed, arched his back and pushed us away as hard as he could. Nothing worked. He was so tired, but fighting it, because he had to stay awake to defend against these strangers who had stolen him away from his loving foster family.
I wish I’d been a little more awake before we got to that point, because that was like waking up with a cup of ice water in the face. But I don’t think it has to be like that.
If we look at adoption honestly beforehand, we consider that the hardships and struggles you read about just might happen to us (instead of what I did — ignoring them and assuming they wouldn’t), we can at least be a little awake, aware, and walk into an unknown future with eyes wide open.