Awake – Five Minute Friday

Linking up with The Gypsy Mama. Rules: Write for five minutes, click publish. No editing. (It’s hard!)

Awake

GO

Before we completed our first adoption, I was asleep.

I was dreaming of all the beauty and loveliness of giving an orphan a home and bringing a beautifully brown child into our little family. I had long daydreams about how our family would look, the chaos another member would bring. I dreamed of wholeness, unity, oneness, hope, love.

And then I woke up. My son was the one who shook me awake.

There I was, after some of my first steps into Uganda, holding a baby I didn’t know at all. And he certainly didn’t know me. During our first nights together, we were all literally awake as he screamed, arched his back and pushed us away as hard as he could. Nothing worked. He was so tired, but fighting it, because he had to stay awake to defend against these strangers who had stolen him away from his loving foster family.

I wish I’d been a little more awake before we got to that point, because that was like waking up with a cup of ice water in the face. But I don’t think it has to be like that.

If we look at adoption honestly beforehand, we consider that the hardships and struggles you read about just might happen to us (instead of what I did — ignoring them and assuming they wouldn’t), we can at least be a little awake, aware, and walk into an unknown future with eyes wide open.

STOP

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5 comments on “Awake – Five Minute Friday

  1. Sarah says:

    Powerful words, Kim. Thank you for sharing the honest struggles, and the less-than-sunny side of what it means to be awake. Prayers for you and your family and your new kiddo!

  2. Jessica T. says:

    Wow…I had never thought of that aspect of adoption before. Sounds hard, but hopefully worth it… Good stuff!

    • Yes — worth it, but I believe we don’t appreciate its worth until we take a hard look at its struggles and how the broken has been made beautiful. Thanks for your thoughts!

  3. very powerful in the truth, thank you for sharing…I think that you will help others be “awake” too.