100/7000

>Numbers. The blog post title is just a couple that I’ve been tracking for a while. I wonder when I’ll reach them, I look at my stats, check my followers and I think I’m making something happen.

Just recently the thought has occurred to me to ask why.

Why are the numbers important to me? When I finally hit one of them, what will it matter? What am I doing, anyway?

 I’m small-time. My fans are my real-life friends and family. One of my favorite bloggers gets hundreds of thousands of page views every week (why is it that I know this, you ask? because I looked. because it matters?). I’m lucky if I hit 100. And somehow, getting page views requires actually writing something, because people typically only come back when there’s something new to read. Huh.

It’s like the advice I recently got from a friend that has me deep inside my head rather than at my computer, writing. What is it you want to say?You have to decide what you’re doing this for, and then take it from there.

 Instead of confidently choosing a way forward, though, I’m stalled out. What do I want to say? What am I writing for? Why am I blogging? Do I want fame? Do I want affirmation to feed my ego? Do I want comments from perfect strangers telling me how amazing I am?

Ugh.

Yesterday, I read this post, which is the first in a series I’m thinking I’ll definitely be following. She’s honest about her motivations, too, and instead of letting her ego-feeding tendencies rule, she has suggestions for being intentional. What do I expect from social media/blogging? What do I want to give to it, and what do I want back? She made a list. Here’s mine:

I expect social media/blogging to:

  • Help me improve and hone my writing skills through lots of practice
  • Heal old wounds by being honest and raw and real
  • Connect me with people from whom I can learn and grow
  • Humble me as I put my art on display and invite criticism
  • Expand my little world and grow in compassion and grace

It’s a work in progress, and I might go back and revise that list. But, none of those intentions has anything to do with numbers, or growing a following, or being lauded by anyone. In fact, I hope the longer I keep at this, the more I’ll realize it’s not about me at all.

I think I’ll start with this: I’m not looking at my blogger or Twitter stats for at least one full week. I’ll go longer if I can.

How about you? What do you want to say, and what do you use social media for?

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One comment on “100/7000

  1. Jules says:

    >Oh, sister, I am picking up what you are throwing down, yo. I found resistance coming in the form of stat checking today. Time to pull back:)