Anxious

>It’s a feeling that creeps up on me. I’m antsy, bothered, stressed, biting my fingernails… then I have to stop and think, “why am I feeling this again?” (big sigh)

Our USCIS fingerprinting is tomorrow. We’re driving up to Minneapolis in the morning, and decided to take the kids — maybe we’ll hit the zoo afterward. Should be a fun family day.
It should feel good to check another thing off the list, I tell myself. Be happy that things are moving forward. I am disappointed that we haven’t seen our home study draft yet — the social worker promised it in two weeks, and it’s been four. I’m sure she’s super busy and all the rest… and maybe this is all part of the plan, God’s timing or whatever. I’m also reading on the various Rwanda adoption blogs that I stalk that the process is taking longer than expected in Rwanda… everything is slowing down… the Ministry office is very busy and can’t handle all the new dossiers coming in… the orphanage is very busy… etc., etc., etc. Perhaps the anxiety is coming from all of that.
And I keep typing things and erasing them. My tendency to ramble is high when I’m working something out. Anyway, will you pray for me? I don’t want to dwell on these things too much — it produces a worry in me that’s not worth my time, quite frankly. I’m entering more deeply into the land of the ever-unknown. Help me to embrace it and rest in Christ with grace. (deep breath now)

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