>Preparing to be broken

>Last night, I planned to write a post about why we chose Rwanda, how we’re feeling called there and how it’s all part of the plan.

I still believe that, and one day I’ll explain more fully. But the last few days have reminded me that God is going to have to cast this vision for us over and over as we go through a process that might stretch us close to breaking.
We knew when we signed up for this ride that the only thing that’s certain is uncertainty — particularly with the path we’re taking. But it’s been astonishing how quickly things can change, and I still feel like we haven’t started yet.
First: the nine families picking up their children in Rwanda this week. Everything was going wonderfully, until they got to Nairobi where they pick up their children’s visas to travel to the U.S. There was one piece of paperwork missing, an extra background clearance that none of them knew they needed, and now they’re stuck in Kenya for hopefully another couple days, but possibly another couple weeks. When I think of being away from Audrey and Owen that long, it hurts. I imagine these families are happy to be united with their children, but also tired and homesick and ready to reunite with their families. The visa process in Nairobi is still changing. Not that it isn’t changing everywhere in Africa, but hearing about snags makes it more concrete as I imagine what we might go through.
Then more news today — the Minister of Gender and Family in Rwanda is the woman who signs off on all adoptions, and she had an assistant who helped process all of that paperwork. A couple days ago, this assistant resigned. Two families’ files (with their children, who have been selected for them, but they haven’t yet seen them) are sitting in that office. All they need to do is scan the information and e-mail it, and there is no one there assigned to do it. I can scarcely imagine what that feels like. I also don’t know what that means for those of us coming up through the process — maybe it will take longer? Maybe they’ll have other problems in that office that will cause issues?
When I hear about things like those, I’m thankful that we are so early in the process. I pray that it’s all worked out by the time we get to that point. But in reality, there WILL be unexpected delays and roadblocks that we have to find a way around. Yes, yes, in the end it will all be worth the cost — it’s just the uncertainty that’s a little unnerving.
Please hold all of these families in your prayers. I’m thankful to be learning so much through their experiences, but pray that I won’t be overly anxious about what lies ahead for us. Worrying will accomplish nothing! Instead, I will pray, too. I’m not afraid to pray that everything will work — not with the expectation that there will be no problems, but that God’s hand will be evident in the working out of inevitable problems. I also pray that God keeps shaping my heart into one that will grow stronger — and more surrendered — by breaking.

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